Itihaas-3

Usi Aam Ke Neeche- Beneath the same Aamr tree

Those words that I uttered
As I hid my flushed face
In your bosom-
Today, I Wonder
if they ever meant anything????

When I proudly claimed
To have held
Time a prisoner
In my tressesToday
I wonder
Did that really happen?
Was all that merely a dream
Or Reality?
I can no longer remember-
all I know is
Even today-coming here
beneath this tree
Where you called my name
On your flute
My tormented soul
Finds solace and peace-


Nay, I refuse to think
I refuse to remember
Yet my restless, wanton fingers
They trace your name in the soil
Unknown to me
The very name
Which I call you by
During moments of our love
And suddenly I start!
I erase the name
That my treacherous fingers
Have traced in the soil-
Without remorse, regret-
What have I been reduced to?
Just an automaton
That at one moment
Scribes your name
And in the next
Erases it away-
without remorse?


Dusk falls-
I sit silently
In the gentle shade of
Our Aamr tree
A whiff of breeze
Gently caresses my cheek
Plays with my hair
I close my eyes
I try to imagine
That day when I sheltered you
In the folds of my garment
To protect you from the rain
And today
You are so far away-
Beyond reach
You have scaled
unattainable heights
But I cannot think further
Only that, here where you
Once gave me endless love
Today, I sit picking
Pebbles, straw and stones
Oh Kanu, tell me
What have I lost-
In your becoming A Legend?
What price did I have to pay
In your achieving Glory
I lie broken, unwanted, abandoned-

I still come here
Here, where we spent
Some blissful moments
The ground is strewn with
Fiery blossoms
All that remains even now
What has changed is
That, now I come alone-.
The parting in my hair is colourless
My steps falter
I return unfulfilled, desolate
Lost, forlorn-

Tell me, My Kanu,
All those words
That I spoke,
that you spoke
were they mere sounds?
Did they mean nothing?
Was all that just a Dream?
Or Wishful thinking?
I know not!!!???