Kelisakhi-Playmate
Today night-the very air
hints of our Union
The touch of the breeze
Sends shivers down my body
The piercing darkness all around
Is thick with desire
My eyes, lips, arms, feet
Are no longer mine
I feel myself
Sinking into the encompassing darkness
I am lost -I am not Me.
And the fear,
The primordial fear,
The nameless, formless fear-
That had been haunting me
until now
Which had taken me away,
far away from You,
has left me-and now
I return to you,with renewed vigour-
The fingers of fear have-
Loosened their clutches
And my inhibitions, hesitation, shyness,
Have melted away..
Helplessly, I reach out for you-
My parted lips quiver,
My throat is parched,
My eyelids droop,
My body turns limp
I clasp you in
My embraceTight,
tighterClose, closer
Your fragrant breath enters me
Your life enters mine
Your blood flows in my veins
And my limp body surges with Life
I am reborn!
My embrace is merciless,
Blind, intoxicated
My embrace is like the vice grip
Of the Serpent Bride
And there are Love bites
On your shoulder, lips and arms!
You are restless
Like the depthless, raging ocean
In the flaming Sun,
Like the little Island
Besieged by lashing waves!
Arise, My Lord!
And shut the windows-
With your shivering hands
The ocean you see outside
Is Just me-
Yet I do not want to cast
my eye upon her
The stars, the planets
The entire galaxy
Is But me
Yet tonight I want to forget Everything
- Me, myself!
Arise, shut the windows
Tonight even darkness
has vision
The breeze blowing outside
Is vicious
And I am afraid of Myself!
Lo! I am Free!
All my fickle companions
Shyness, Fear, doubt,
Reticence, Sorrow
Have all forsaken me-
My eyes are no longer eyes
They are but moments
Of Anticipation
My arms are now paths
That bring you to me
And this rosy, oyester body of mine
Is now merely a call,
beckoning you to me!
Arise My Darling!
Draw the blinds
Bid the Ocean
To return from the door
Let SpaceBe dissolved in our Union
Command Time-The ruthless Archer
To replace his arrows
Into his quiver
To split his bow
And await patiently
At our door
As long as our Love play
Remains paused
And I sink into
Blissful Oblivion!
Come to me My Lord!
The whole of Creation
Is now dissolved,
I have held captive-
In my flowing tresses,
Time and Space.
The whole Cosmos
Is now Just You and Me..
I-your eternal Consort!
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Srushti Sankalp-2
Aadim Bhay- Primordial Fear
If this entire creation
Is nothing but Me
And I am born just for You-
The lofty mountains,
The deep Oceans,
The shimmering Moonlight,
The clouds and the winds,
The west flowing streams,
The twilight of dusk,
All these are but me-
If the dark night is but my depths;
And the day, my laughter,
The flowers, my touch,
The greenery, my embrace-
Then my Dearest
Why is it that Now and then,
I am still afraid?
Often I stand upon
The lonely banks of the Milkyway
And I gaze at the numerous
Suns burning bright
I watch as they turn into
Miserable, crawling glowworms
That have lost their wings
Lost in the caves of mist;
And I return Cringing in fear.
Why so My Lord?
Is not the Milkyway
The parting in my tresses?
Then why does its mystery
Frighten me so?
And often when I stand gazing
At the vastness of The Lunar expanse
And I see the countless meteors,
Come crashing down in all directions
Into the deep valleys
I see the flaming hailstones scattering-
Crumbling the diamond hard rocks,
Into smithereens-
As if they were just withering flowers!
Why is it that I get so scared
And I withdraw my steps,
Is not the Moon
The spot on my forehead?
And if all the Enigma of Nature
Are nothing but me
And if I am your desire,
Your decision,
If the entire Creation
Is besides me,
just You And only You
Then whom am I afraid of?
And if the Moon is
But My hand print
And it waxes and wanes
Upon my whims-
And the Milky way,
Is but my flowing tresses,
And the entire Cosmos-
Changes its direction of motion
With just a cue from me,
Then who is it that I am afraid of?
From where is it that
This fear that haunts my soul
Settles on like heavy mist
Spreading its menacing hood
Upon my weary body?
Who is it that
Has cast this net of Terror
In which I am caught helpless?
And I struggle to break free
Like a trapped mermaid-
There is wet sticky algae
Caught in my hair-
The gems of virtue
Have fallen from my grasp-
And I am terrified!
Hear me, My Lord!
If this Cosmos is just me,
If I am but your shadow,
Then What do I fear?
Why do I fear?
Pray, tell me my Lord!
If this entire creation
Is nothing but Me
And I am born just for You-
The lofty mountains,
The deep Oceans,
The shimmering Moonlight,
The clouds and the winds,
The west flowing streams,
The twilight of dusk,
All these are but me-
If the dark night is but my depths;
And the day, my laughter,
The flowers, my touch,
The greenery, my embrace-
Then my Dearest
Why is it that Now and then,
I am still afraid?
Often I stand upon
The lonely banks of the Milkyway
And I gaze at the numerous
Suns burning bright
I watch as they turn into
Miserable, crawling glowworms
That have lost their wings
Lost in the caves of mist;
And I return Cringing in fear.
Why so My Lord?
Is not the Milkyway
The parting in my tresses?
Then why does its mystery
Frighten me so?
And often when I stand gazing
At the vastness of The Lunar expanse
And I see the countless meteors,
Come crashing down in all directions
Into the deep valleys
I see the flaming hailstones scattering-
Crumbling the diamond hard rocks,
Into smithereens-
As if they were just withering flowers!
Why is it that I get so scared
And I withdraw my steps,
Is not the Moon
The spot on my forehead?
And if all the Enigma of Nature
Are nothing but me
And if I am your desire,
Your decision,
If the entire Creation
Is besides me,
just You And only You
Then whom am I afraid of?
And if the Moon is
But My hand print
And it waxes and wanes
Upon my whims-
And the Milky way,
Is but my flowing tresses,
And the entire Cosmos-
Changes its direction of motion
With just a cue from me,
Then who is it that I am afraid of?
From where is it that
This fear that haunts my soul
Settles on like heavy mist
Spreading its menacing hood
Upon my weary body?
Who is it that
Has cast this net of Terror
In which I am caught helpless?
And I struggle to break free
Like a trapped mermaid-
There is wet sticky algae
Caught in my hair-
The gems of virtue
Have fallen from my grasp-
And I am terrified!
Hear me, My Lord!
If this Cosmos is just me,
If I am but your shadow,
Then What do I fear?
Why do I fear?
Pray, tell me my Lord!
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Kanupriya- Srushtisankalp-1
Srujan Sangini-Eternal Consort
Tell me My beloved,
The Sun, The Moon,
In their tireless, endless journeys-
The roaring Ocean,The whirling Winds,
The leaves blowing in the breeze,
The flowers blossoming in the Sun,
The river shimmering in Moonlight,
All these, are they bound
To your Whims and Fancies?
The Fertility of the Earth,
The green of the leaves,
The ripening of the fruits,
The fragrance of the Flowers,
Tell me, All these cater to your whims?
If yes, then tell me My Lord,
What is the Meaning, The Reason
Behind Your Desire, your Decision?
Who is it that you seek?
On whose trail have you set
The Sun and The Moon?
Whose name is that you call
In the resounding octaves of the Storm?
For whom are you reaching out
Along the endless arms of the Ocean
Whose soul is it that you seek
In the budding blossoms
Who is it that you have held captive
Within your arms, in your heart, your voice?
It is Me, My Darling!
It is Me that you are waiting for!
It is Me that you seek!
And this Entire Creation dissolves
After moments of Spent Passion
When I lie in your armsLight as foam
I am just a Void
Void Within- Void Without
And you, in the throes of
My passion,
My Love for you
Are helpless,
You seek me again and again
In the Darkness of the Night
You wake me up-
To fulfil our Unsatiable Love
And I succumbTo Your Wish, Your Desire-
And in the silence of the Night
Quivering Bodies meet
Feverish caresses
Crushing Arms
Suppressed sighs
Fragrant BreathsAnd Finally-
Mute EcstasyPleasurable Fatigue;
Creation Awaits-
As I lie light as void
spent, unmoving-
again you awake me
and again we are carried along
The waves of our Passion,Our Desire,
Our Love is but a repeating cycle
Of Unsatiated Love,
Of Unbridled passion,
Oh My Lord!Creation is
but your Passion
Your Passion is your Love
And your Love is
your Desire
And Your Desire is-
Me, Only Me!
Tell me My beloved,
The Sun, The Moon,
In their tireless, endless journeys-
The roaring Ocean,The whirling Winds,
The leaves blowing in the breeze,
The flowers blossoming in the Sun,
The river shimmering in Moonlight,
All these, are they bound
To your Whims and Fancies?
The Fertility of the Earth,
The green of the leaves,
The ripening of the fruits,
The fragrance of the Flowers,
Tell me, All these cater to your whims?
If yes, then tell me My Lord,
What is the Meaning, The Reason
Behind Your Desire, your Decision?
Who is it that you seek?
On whose trail have you set
The Sun and The Moon?
Whose name is that you call
In the resounding octaves of the Storm?
For whom are you reaching out
Along the endless arms of the Ocean
Whose soul is it that you seek
In the budding blossoms
Who is it that you have held captive
Within your arms, in your heart, your voice?
It is Me, My Darling!
It is Me that you are waiting for!
It is Me that you seek!
And this Entire Creation dissolves
After moments of Spent Passion
When I lie in your armsLight as foam
I am just a Void
Void Within- Void Without
And you, in the throes of
My passion,
My Love for you
Are helpless,
You seek me again and again
In the Darkness of the Night
You wake me up-
To fulfil our Unsatiable Love
And I succumbTo Your Wish, Your Desire-
And in the silence of the Night
Quivering Bodies meet
Feverish caresses
Crushing Arms
Suppressed sighs
Fragrant BreathsAnd Finally-
Mute EcstasyPleasurable Fatigue;
Creation Awaits-
As I lie light as void
spent, unmoving-
again you awake me
and again we are carried along
The waves of our Passion,Our Desire,
Our Love is but a repeating cycle
Of Unsatiated Love,
Of Unbridled passion,
Oh My Lord!Creation is
but your Passion
Your Passion is your Love
And your Love is
your Desire
And Your Desire is-
Me, Only Me!
MANJARI PARINAY-3
Tum Mere Kaun Ho???-Who are you to Me??
To date, I have failed to understand
Who are you to me
My Mind keeps repeating
Stubbornly, wonderingly, soulfully-
Who is this Kanu to you, do tell us,
My friends keep asking-
Teasing, taunting, accusing-
Who is Kanu to you?
Why dont you tell us?
My elders keep asking me
Rudely, unhappily, angrily
After all who is this Kanu to you???
And to date
I have been unable to give them an answer
Neither to me nor to them
For I too am at a loss
Who are you really to me, my Kanu?
Often when you clamber
Over thorny shrubs
To pluck blossoms
For my garland
Then in utter mirth
Swinging my long tresses
I murmurKanu is my Eternal Playmate!
Often when I am lost
In the deep forests
Running helplessly,in panic
Among fiery bushes
And blinding smoke
And you come to my rescue
You swoop me in your strong arms
As if I were a flower
And emerge out of
The licking flames
My being is filled withAwe,
gratitude and deep affection
And in a voice thick with emotionI murmur-
Kanha is my protector,my guardian, my brother!-
Often, when you call my name in your flute
And I am drawn towards you as if in trance
Like an intoxicated doe
You then crush me in your passionate embrace
I sigh, I murmur
Kanu Dearest, You are my Goal,
My ideal, my Essence;
My be all and end all!
But at times when you cruelly taunt me
Tease me in front of my friends
Then I am annoyed, offended, saddened
My eyes fill with unshed tears
And I vow
Kanu is No one to me-
But the very next moment
When clouds darken the horizon
Thunder bolts and Lightning strikes
Torrents of Rain
lash the earth
The forest path has been washed away
And I hurry to gather you
in the folds of my garment
I have to protect you
I lead you to shelter
To the outskirts of the village
And shall I confess to you My Dark One?
At that moment
I totally forget
How trivial a being I am
And that you are the very same Krishna
Who had protected entire Vrindavan
From the Fury of Floods
For the moment all that I know is
You are an infant
Drenched and helpless
And it is upto me and Me only
To protect you, shelter you!
And when I recounted to my friends
Of how I stood
at the outskirts of the village
clutching you to my bosom;
of how I wiped dry your -
crown of hair with my garment-
and hearing of my lavish affection
showered upon you,
My friends exchange knowing smiles;
Their eyes glinting with hidden mischief
Till today I know not why????
But when you in all Magnificence
challenged Mighty Indra
And you curdled
the poisoned waters
Of The Yamuna
In search of The Tyrant Serpent Kalia
Then suddenly I realize
Effulgence radiating from my being
I am your Shakthi!Your Yogamaya!
You are Purusha!I am Prakrithi!
I am The Omniscient!
I am Omnipotent!
I am You,You are Me!
Limitless, Formless, Endless-Power, Valour, Might!
But the very next Moment,
When You filled the parting in my hair,
With the fiery Aamr blossoms;
In the twilight glow of Dusk;
I am stunned, flustered,
And from The All pervading-
Power, Light,
MotionOf The entire Cosmos-
That I was;
I am suddenly
reduced to Nothingness,
I am bound within a miniscule existence-
Did You wish it so My Lord?
But I am aroused from my stupor
Realisation dawns
There are no limits, no boundaries
I am Your Eternal Bride
Your Cosmic Consort
Beyond time, beyond Space
From Time Immemorial
I have been Your Co-traveller
Along this Journey
thatHas no Beginning, No End
We were, We are, We shall-
But stubborn that you are
You take pleasure in tormenting me
You expect me to experience
Our Cosmic Bond
Within the limits of this Mortal Life
Retrace our Eternal steps
Within the confines
Of a single Birth
And hence I am lost
in the Maze of Relationships
I have had to take
such turns and bends
in this journey with you
That I keep forgetting
who I am
And Who You are to me!
And from the bottom less abyss
Of this world
I am faced by a volley of questions-
Frightened, I have tried in vain
to bind you
Within the shackles of Language:
Play mate, Guardian,
Idol,Infant,
Divine, Co-traveller-
In vain I try to explain
To give a name to myself
Friend, Ward,
Devotee,Mother,
Bride, Co-traveller!
Again and Again
I try To cross
the Chasm of Definitions
I try to reach out to you
But again and again
YouElude me
I reach for the Shore
But you are theBottomless Ocean
Which swallows me whole
I cease to be-
And yet- I remain
baffled, perplexed
I look askance
Oh tell me I beseech You,
My Kanha, who are you?????
To date, I have failed to understand
Who are you to me
My Mind keeps repeating
Stubbornly, wonderingly, soulfully-
Who is this Kanu to you, do tell us,
My friends keep asking-
Teasing, taunting, accusing-
Who is Kanu to you?
Why dont you tell us?
My elders keep asking me
Rudely, unhappily, angrily
After all who is this Kanu to you???
And to date
I have been unable to give them an answer
Neither to me nor to them
For I too am at a loss
Who are you really to me, my Kanu?
Often when you clamber
Over thorny shrubs
To pluck blossoms
For my garland
Then in utter mirth
Swinging my long tresses
I murmurKanu is my Eternal Playmate!
Often when I am lost
In the deep forests
Running helplessly,in panic
Among fiery bushes
And blinding smoke
And you come to my rescue
You swoop me in your strong arms
As if I were a flower
And emerge out of
The licking flames
My being is filled withAwe,
gratitude and deep affection
And in a voice thick with emotionI murmur-
Kanha is my protector,my guardian, my brother!-
Often, when you call my name in your flute
And I am drawn towards you as if in trance
Like an intoxicated doe
You then crush me in your passionate embrace
I sigh, I murmur
Kanu Dearest, You are my Goal,
My ideal, my Essence;
My be all and end all!
But at times when you cruelly taunt me
Tease me in front of my friends
Then I am annoyed, offended, saddened
My eyes fill with unshed tears
And I vow
Kanu is No one to me-
But the very next moment
When clouds darken the horizon
Thunder bolts and Lightning strikes
Torrents of Rain
lash the earth
The forest path has been washed away
And I hurry to gather you
in the folds of my garment
I have to protect you
I lead you to shelter
To the outskirts of the village
And shall I confess to you My Dark One?
At that moment
I totally forget
How trivial a being I am
And that you are the very same Krishna
Who had protected entire Vrindavan
From the Fury of Floods
For the moment all that I know is
You are an infant
Drenched and helpless
And it is upto me and Me only
To protect you, shelter you!
And when I recounted to my friends
Of how I stood
at the outskirts of the village
clutching you to my bosom;
of how I wiped dry your -
crown of hair with my garment-
and hearing of my lavish affection
showered upon you,
My friends exchange knowing smiles;
Their eyes glinting with hidden mischief
Till today I know not why????
But when you in all Magnificence
challenged Mighty Indra
And you curdled
the poisoned waters
Of The Yamuna
In search of The Tyrant Serpent Kalia
Then suddenly I realize
Effulgence radiating from my being
I am your Shakthi!Your Yogamaya!
You are Purusha!I am Prakrithi!
I am The Omniscient!
I am Omnipotent!
I am You,You are Me!
Limitless, Formless, Endless-Power, Valour, Might!
But the very next Moment,
When You filled the parting in my hair,
With the fiery Aamr blossoms;
In the twilight glow of Dusk;
I am stunned, flustered,
And from The All pervading-
Power, Light,
MotionOf The entire Cosmos-
That I was;
I am suddenly
reduced to Nothingness,
I am bound within a miniscule existence-
Did You wish it so My Lord?
But I am aroused from my stupor
Realisation dawns
There are no limits, no boundaries
I am Your Eternal Bride
Your Cosmic Consort
Beyond time, beyond Space
From Time Immemorial
I have been Your Co-traveller
Along this Journey
thatHas no Beginning, No End
We were, We are, We shall-
But stubborn that you are
You take pleasure in tormenting me
You expect me to experience
Our Cosmic Bond
Within the limits of this Mortal Life
Retrace our Eternal steps
Within the confines
Of a single Birth
And hence I am lost
in the Maze of Relationships
I have had to take
such turns and bends
in this journey with you
That I keep forgetting
who I am
And Who You are to me!
And from the bottom less abyss
Of this world
I am faced by a volley of questions-
Frightened, I have tried in vain
to bind you
Within the shackles of Language:
Play mate, Guardian,
Idol,Infant,
Divine, Co-traveller-
In vain I try to explain
To give a name to myself
Friend, Ward,
Devotee,Mother,
Bride, Co-traveller!
Again and Again
I try To cross
the Chasm of Definitions
I try to reach out to you
But again and again
YouElude me
I reach for the Shore
But you are theBottomless Ocean
Which swallows me whole
I cease to be-
And yet- I remain
baffled, perplexed
I look askance
Oh tell me I beseech You,
My Kanha, who are you?????
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