Aamr Baur Ka Arth-The meaning of the Aamr Baur
My dearest,
Please do not get annoyed with me
For not having understood
The significance of the Aamr blossoms!
Many a time,
when you sent me
A half opened lotus bud
I understood that you
Had called me by twilight-
Many a time when you sent
A bunch of Bela blossoms
I understood that you were waiting-
Many a time when you sent
Two fiery Agasthya flowers
I understood that you
Wanted to adorn my feet
With the redness of the flowers-
Today, if I failed to understand
The significance of the Aamr blossoms
Do you have to get
So offended?
True, you have often told me,
"Radhan, your fluttering eyelashes
Are but trails that lead me to you"
So often have you said,
"Radhan, Your fragile slender arms
Beckon to me";
So many times have you said-
"Radhan,Your lips, your eyelashes,
your arms, your feet,lead me to you".
You of the Sandalwood fragrance,
Many a time
In your embrace
I have found myself just merging into you.
Released from the bondage of the body;
I am just a whiff of fragrance,
Like that of the Rajnigandha flowers;
That blossom at midnight...
So also in your arms,
I am rendered formless,
limitless, colourless!
Oh thou who sculpts my form!
Was the parting in my tresses
The Ultimate challenge
Which you sought to overcome
By strewing upon it
The fiery Aamr blossoms?
How did I forget
that my Eternal playmate
Always sought to-
remove by putting in,
Dissolve by adding;
Was the parting in my tresses
The Final Barrier?
That you removed by filling in
With the fresh, pure, pungent blossoms?
And me-The fool that I was-
Failed to grasp the inner meaning
But don't you know me my Kanu,
I am the very same fickle lass
Who on filling my pitcher with water;
Seeing the reflection of my winsome eyes
Mistook them for fish
And threw away the water!
Oh my friend!
Forgive my ignorance
But pray do not restrict me.
Let me be;
Some day, perhaps
my ignorance shall dissolve
And if not then what?
Won't you still take me in your arms?
Sometimes annoyed, at other times amused.
Sometimes angry;
Yet with Love and Passion.
Pray, tell me, why then should I let go?
I shall keep committing such follies
Am I not your Stubborn,
naughty, ignorant playmate?
And tonight in the clutches of solitude-
when I am far away-
From your sandalwood embrace,
In the abyssymal darkness of the night;
As my body writhes
in the throes of seperation-
The agony reveals to me,
Your language of the Aamr blossoms
That you had scribed in
The parting of my hair.
The Aamr blossoms have a pungent fragrance
So have you said to me-
That its the very same pungence
That you find within me
And which you cherish so!
Those virgin blossoms
were the first of the season
Untouched, fresh and pure
And so was I, My lord!
Then was it that
The bough that leaned towards you
Those fresh virgin blossoms
With which you filled
the Parting in my tresses
Was that Me?
Why My Dearest?
Is that why you oft repeated
That you loved me not for yourself
But for me?
Is that what you wanted to proclaim
That You were symbolically marrying me
With my own being, my own essence?
And when you commanded me
to cover my face with the Bridal veil
Were you conveying
That I was to cherish
My Essence, my purity?
Alas! I have to admit
I failed to comprehend
The hidden meanings of your actions
Your Love that is far removed
from The Mortal Reality-
Tell me, is it easy to understand
The Language of Your Love,
And that too by Me-
Who tends to forget ordinary Language,
In the intoxication of your Love-
How can you expect
Me to understand
Your cosmic language!
Poor Me! Who made herself
A laughing stock
By raving and ranting your name aloud
Along the streets and alleys
How can then it be my fault
If I failed to understand
The script of the Aamr blossoms
That you scribed in the parting of my hair?
And now in this wretched solitude
Far away from you
As I writhe in the throes of Seperation...
The pungent fragrance
of the Aamr blossoms
In my hair reveal to me
The Eternal Cosmic Secret!
Realisation Dawns!
The Secret Of your Love
That which assimilates, absolves, binds
And yet liberates-
Alas! Why do you abandon me My Lord?
Only to savour the agony
To experience the various shades and hues
of Sorrow in your Separation???
Monday, January 03, 2005
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Manjari Parinay -1
Aamr Baur ka Geet-The song of the Aamr Baur
At times when I fail to respond
While in your arms
Why don't you understand My Lord?
Its not that I am unmoved;
Remember that shyness
is not just of the body
But of the mind too.
A sweet fear
An unknown doubt
An inexplicable ache
A yearning, a longing,
A sorrow;
Overcomes my being
Even at those moments of bliss.
Fear, Doubt, Reticence, Sorrow
Like fickle friends, overcome me
I am rendered helpless
And then I am unable to come to you
When you call my name on your flute..
That day, as you waited for me
Standing by the blossom laden Aamr tree;
The setting rays shedding its melancholic glow,
Upon the peacock feathers on your forehead...
Helplessly, I bid farewell
I did not come.
The cows gazed upon you;
With their innocent upturned eyes
Then slowly retraced their steps
Along the path home
Leaving you forlorn
Yet I did not come.
Dusk fell;
The fishermen trudged wearily homewards
The oars on their shoulders
From the shores of the Yamuna
Still I did not come.
You set aside the Flute
Silent, desolate, Lonely
You remained waiting
Under the Aamr tree
You plucked a bunch of Aamr blossoms
From a low leaning branch
You took slow hesitant steps
Along the oneway path
But do you realize what your fingers did?
Unknown even to you
Your fingers ,they
Scattered the Aamr blossoms
Strew it along the bare, pure forest path!
What have you done my Lord?
What is it that you are trying to convey?
Is it that you were symbolically filling
the pure, untouched parting in my hair?
But Alas! Woe upon me!
I did not realize the significance of your deed
And blessed with the effulgence of ethereal wedlock;
Hiding my radiant face in my Bridal veil,
To seek your blessings
I did not come.
Oh Lord of Mine!
Please do not forget
I am the very same fickle lass
Whose feet, when you took unto your lap
To adorn it with the redness of the forest flowers
My body shuddering in shyness
I withdrew my feet hastily
And crushing them between my knees
I sat unmoving-
My heart pounding-
But when dusk fell;
In the solitude of the twilight hour,
In the confines of my home,
I kept gazing at my feet with unblinking eyes,
And slowly, stealthily, softly,
I kissed my blessed feet.
The night has deepened,
You have gone-
Sad, lonely, disappointed;
My tears, they flow unchecked;
I embrace the Aamr tree,
Where you waited for me...
And I return,
Tired and depressed-
The scattered blossoms-
Pierce my feet;
But who will tell you,
My Dusky Lord,
You had called for me,
And I heard you,
That late though,
Come I did...
That my feet were hurt and bruised;
By the blossoms, pebbles and thorns,
Not that the path was long;
But that I ran along.
How will I let you know-
That at those moments of our Sublime union;
Its not that I break away from you,
But that shyness is not merely of the body;
But of the mind too.
An unknown fear,
A nameless doubt,
A yearning, a longing,
An undefined sorrow-
All these barriers have I to break-
To reach across to You
But come I will
Perhaps a little late
Yet I shall come
To you, My Life,
Won't you then take me in your arms
In your eternal Embrace
Oh My Dusky Lord??
At times when I fail to respond
While in your arms
Why don't you understand My Lord?
Its not that I am unmoved;
Remember that shyness
is not just of the body
But of the mind too.
A sweet fear
An unknown doubt
An inexplicable ache
A yearning, a longing,
A sorrow;
Overcomes my being
Even at those moments of bliss.
Fear, Doubt, Reticence, Sorrow
Like fickle friends, overcome me
I am rendered helpless
And then I am unable to come to you
When you call my name on your flute..
That day, as you waited for me
Standing by the blossom laden Aamr tree;
The setting rays shedding its melancholic glow,
Upon the peacock feathers on your forehead...
Helplessly, I bid farewell
I did not come.
The cows gazed upon you;
With their innocent upturned eyes
Then slowly retraced their steps
Along the path home
Leaving you forlorn
Yet I did not come.
Dusk fell;
The fishermen trudged wearily homewards
The oars on their shoulders
From the shores of the Yamuna
Still I did not come.
You set aside the Flute
Silent, desolate, Lonely
You remained waiting
Under the Aamr tree
You plucked a bunch of Aamr blossoms
From a low leaning branch
You took slow hesitant steps
Along the oneway path
But do you realize what your fingers did?
Unknown even to you
Your fingers ,they
Scattered the Aamr blossoms
Strew it along the bare, pure forest path!
What have you done my Lord?
What is it that you are trying to convey?
Is it that you were symbolically filling
the pure, untouched parting in my hair?
But Alas! Woe upon me!
I did not realize the significance of your deed
And blessed with the effulgence of ethereal wedlock;
Hiding my radiant face in my Bridal veil,
To seek your blessings
I did not come.
Oh Lord of Mine!
Please do not forget
I am the very same fickle lass
Whose feet, when you took unto your lap
To adorn it with the redness of the forest flowers
My body shuddering in shyness
I withdrew my feet hastily
And crushing them between my knees
I sat unmoving-
My heart pounding-
But when dusk fell;
In the solitude of the twilight hour,
In the confines of my home,
I kept gazing at my feet with unblinking eyes,
And slowly, stealthily, softly,
I kissed my blessed feet.
The night has deepened,
You have gone-
Sad, lonely, disappointed;
My tears, they flow unchecked;
I embrace the Aamr tree,
Where you waited for me...
And I return,
Tired and depressed-
The scattered blossoms-
Pierce my feet;
But who will tell you,
My Dusky Lord,
You had called for me,
And I heard you,
That late though,
Come I did...
That my feet were hurt and bruised;
By the blossoms, pebbles and thorns,
Not that the path was long;
But that I ran along.
How will I let you know-
That at those moments of our Sublime union;
Its not that I break away from you,
But that shyness is not merely of the body;
But of the mind too.
An unknown fear,
A nameless doubt,
A yearning, a longing,
An undefined sorrow-
All these barriers have I to break-
To reach across to You
But come I will
Perhaps a little late
Yet I shall come
To you, My Life,
Won't you then take me in your arms
In your eternal Embrace
Oh My Dusky Lord??
POORVARAAG: 1ST, 2ND, 3RD, 4TH, 5TH SONGS
Radha addresses the Asoka tree standing by the wayside. She asks it why has it been waiting so long to blossom, was it waiting for the touch of her feet to bloom? She reminds the tree that she had always been within it- in its roots, bark and leaves. She accuses it of not being aware of her presence . She had been waiting all along for spring to awaken her and blossom out as its flowers, fruits, fragrance and colour.
Radha addresses the Divine Melody within her, Today all of a sudden, you have burst into song from the lyre of my body! Melody springs from every pore, from the depths of my soul. How long have you been hidden within me, waiting to burst into song?
Radha describes her first meeting Krishna standing below the Kadamba tree, apparently indifferent to Radhas presence and how she mistook him for a Forest Deity lost in meditation. Only later does she realize that Krishna was so enamored by her salutations that He wanted to possess her wholly and was not to be satisfied by mere obeisance!
Radha, while bathing in the blue waters of the Yamuna, as she sees her quivering reflection in the water like a water creeper, imagines that she is in the arms of Krishna. She imagines that Krishna has removed all barriers and has taken her into His eternal embrace.
Radha is haunted by the fact that she returned from Krishna's side on the night of the Raas. She regrets having left Him and pines to be united with Him.
Tired after the day’s chores
I come here under the shade of the Kadamba
Weak, listless, I lay myself down-
Regret, Repentance taunts my soul
Oh! Why did I return from your side
That night of the Raas?
These feet of mine
That danced to the tune of your lute
In circumambulation of your blue hued self
How did they find their way back home
Oh why did I return?
Why did I not surrender myself to you
Fully and wholly?
Ah! you welcomed me
You received me
And you sent me home fulfilled
And now I am left
Pining for you
Yearning for you
What is it that you intend?
When I do not wish to come
You pull me along as if in a trance
By the deep resonant notes of your flute
And when I do not want to leave
You send me away
Leaving me yearning, pining...
Radha addresses the Divine Melody within her, Today all of a sudden, you have burst into song from the lyre of my body! Melody springs from every pore, from the depths of my soul. How long have you been hidden within me, waiting to burst into song?
Radha describes her first meeting Krishna standing below the Kadamba tree, apparently indifferent to Radhas presence and how she mistook him for a Forest Deity lost in meditation. Only later does she realize that Krishna was so enamored by her salutations that He wanted to possess her wholly and was not to be satisfied by mere obeisance!
Radha, while bathing in the blue waters of the Yamuna, as she sees her quivering reflection in the water like a water creeper, imagines that she is in the arms of Krishna. She imagines that Krishna has removed all barriers and has taken her into His eternal embrace.
Radha is haunted by the fact that she returned from Krishna's side on the night of the Raas. She regrets having left Him and pines to be united with Him.
Tired after the day’s chores
I come here under the shade of the Kadamba
Weak, listless, I lay myself down-
Regret, Repentance taunts my soul
Oh! Why did I return from your side
That night of the Raas?
These feet of mine
That danced to the tune of your lute
In circumambulation of your blue hued self
How did they find their way back home
Oh why did I return?
Why did I not surrender myself to you
Fully and wholly?
Ah! you welcomed me
You received me
And you sent me home fulfilled
And now I am left
Pining for you
Yearning for you
What is it that you intend?
When I do not wish to come
You pull me along as if in a trance
By the deep resonant notes of your flute
And when I do not want to leave
You send me away
Leaving me yearning, pining...
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